Today I went to Sauvie Island. It’s an island, about 12 miles northeast of Portland. There’s a lot of agriculture there; I went to pick berries. I now have a plethora of blueberries, raspberries, blackberries and marionberries — all for just a little over $5. What a deal!
On Wednesday, I found out about labyrinths, so I conducted a web search and found a site that listed the location of public labyrinths throughout the world. It was searchable by country and state (very handy). I collected a list of three Portland area labyrinths so I could visit them. I did not read the details very carefully for the locations at the time, but I noticed one was on Sauvie Island, so I planned right then to go visit it this weekend after berry picking.
I finally read the directions last night as I planned my route for today, and boy was I amused. Here is how my adventure unfolded:
I left the berry picking farm around noon and drove, with the following help from my (slightly inept) directions, “You will pass The Pumpkin Patch farm on your left, follow road till you come to a right turn permitted without stopping sign, that road is called Gillighan road. Turn there to the right, follow road past Reeder beach and store.”
Approaching this location, I came upon two signs. One read, “Last chance to acquire a parking permit 1000 ft.” The second (a little farther down the road) read, “Last chance to acquire parking permit 300 ft.” My instructions also confirmed my need for said parking permit: “By the way, you will need to pick up a parking permit at either of the two little stores on the island.”
Parking permit acquired. “The road will eventually turn to gravel. At that point it becomes a clothing optional beach, (Collins Beach).” This is the point last night when I burst into laughter reading about how to get to the labyrinth. Sure enough:
“Follow the trail thru a cottonwood patch of trees 200 ft or so.”
“When it opens up vere to your left another 150 ft. to the next patch of trees on the trail. will open back up onto the beach, follow trail to the upper part of the beach a couple hundred feet, there you will find the labyrinth.”
I walked along this path for awhile, never finding the “next patch of trees.” At this point there were a lot of bugs — lots of flies, and the biggest mosquitos I’ve ever seen were making their torpedo noises around my head; plus, there was something rustling in the underbrush. It started to occur to me that I may not be successful in finding this labyrinth. My final bit of instructions were no help: ”There are always people that will tell you where it is.” There was nobody around.
I came about these two really freaky looking bugs I did not recognize (they were like colorful, winged, stick insects); they were big and multiple and blocking my path. They kind of freaked me out, so I turned and fled (even running a little, at first). Mosquitos were still dive-bombing me, I saw some giant black winged insect thing (not a butterfly, but as big as one), and there were weird red things flying around. Also, the rustling noises continued. I was pretty overwhelmed and freaked out by weird bugs, though I did my best to appear calm, while hurrying (and flapping the paper with the instructions about my head to ward things off).
So that was my adventure. I’m not a total baby about bugs, but this place had weird ones and way too many, all of them eager for a piece of me. In the end, I didn’t make it to the labyrinth, and I didn’t see any naked people, but I did find this awesome sign:
i wish i could have gone with you.
but i probably would have just been a big jerk.
i hate being a jerk so much.
last night james and i finally had a little blow up and
we and billy stood in the kitchen and discussed everything.
james kicked me out of the garage because he thought i was taking over the garage and the basement. he wanted to have a wood and metal shop and had no where to put it. he conveniently didn’t remember me telling him that when he was ready to set up his shop i would move all the gear out of the basement. he never did. so that is the basis for all our problems: jamse didn’t listen to me and i didn’t make myself clear enough. over such a small thing. i don’t even like having band practic e at my house. its too loud and its embarassing.
anyway…
your blog is funny.
you are already better at writing than when you started.
i don’t get to have adventures.
i’m not open enough to them.
i should read your book sooner than later.
Thank you. I’m glad the air got cleared at your home.
I actually called you during my adventure. I sat in my car for a long time because I was nervous about walking onto the nude beach. I really had to pep-talk myself into it. And then it turned out to just be a regular beach. The clothing optional section was about 5 more miles down the road. ~Breanne